My cat is dying. Puck is 17 years old. We brought him home when he was 8. I adopted him from a friend who simply didn’t
want him anymore and I was afraid of what might have happened to him if I
didn’t take him. I didn’t want to him be
left in a shelter. It was, sadly, the
end of the friendship because I couldn’t understand how anyone could be so
genuinely happy to “get rid of him,”
like a broken old bookcase that cluttered the basement. No harsh words were spoken; there was no “break,”
I just found myself less interested in spending time with her.
Puck when we first brought him home |
Puck is a great cat. He is cuddly and affectionate and purrs a lot. I like to think that he is as happy that he
came to live with us as we are to have him.
He knows how to stand his ground, though. When we brought home our
50-pound dog (also 8 at the time we brought him home), Puck wasted no time in
telling Patrick (the dog) who was boss.
Patrick, who had cat siblings in a previous home, understood this going
in, and we’ve had no trouble. Last year,
a neighbor’s dog wandered into our weekend place when we left a door open. That dog is probably 60 pounds, young, and
full of energy (and as sweet as he can be).
Puck followed him around the house meowing, cornered him, and smacked
him a couple of times. The poor dog fled
the house and has not even ventured into our yard again (which we are sorry
about). Puck is also very jealous. If you are paying attention to Jasmine (our
other cat) or Patrick or electronics or reading material of any kind, Puck will
be sure to head butt his way into the action, making sure that he is the center of attention. Then he purrs.
Puck enjoys some lap time |
The day before Thanksgiving, Puck
was diagnosed with large cell granular lymphoma. He was yellow with jaundice
and his liver was severely compromised. The prognosis was bleak indeed, and we
were told that without treatment, he might live 2-4 weeks; with treatment,
maybe 4-8 weeks. We wrestled with the
options, but decided to try the first dose of the recommended treatment to see
how he responded, then go from there. I
also reached out to many of my animal and theology friends and asked them to
pray for Puck, and to pray that my husband and I would know how to make the
right decisions for him. We could not
bring ourselves to think about celebrating Christmas, because we expected it
would be a very sad time.
He responded well to the first treatment, and even better to the second. His blood work showed his liver function had returned to normal; he was eating and gaining weight; and his personality was showing through again. He was able to go three weeks before his next vet visit. We knew this was temporary, but it was so much more than we had dared to hope that were over the moon! We went to our weekend place and celebrated Christmas and the New Year with no tree, no decorations, and no gifts. We felt like the Whos down in Whoville (with apologies to Dr. Seuss). Christmas came after all. And we were grateful.
Puck and his "sister" help with repotting plants |
But Puck’s most recent visit to
the vet tells us the cancer is doing its evil work again, and his liver function
is down (but not nearly as bad as it was when he was diagnosed). We tried a different drug and we’ll go back
next week to see how he is and make some new decisions. Maybe he has some surprises yet in store for
us; maybe not. Maybe we have several
weeks or even another month or two with him; maybe not. Right now, he is still purring, still eating,
and still in charge of the house. That
is enough for us. We remain
grateful. But I will reach out again to
my animal and theology friends and ask for renewed prayers.
Did earlier prayers play any role
in Puck’s surprising, odds-beating (if short lived) remission? Who can say? But I know I place more faith in
prayer than in coincidence. I know that
if I hadn’t asked for prayers for him, I would have felt that I had not done
everything for his health and happiness that I could have. And I know that I felt better knowing those prayers were being said and that I had
at my disposal a wonderful and supportive community who understand that Puck is
not “just a cat.” He is one of my
babies. A member of my family. I love him and his loss will be
profound. I felt – and feel – supported
and lifted up by that community, and it will help make the loss, when it comes,
easier to bear.
Some years ago, I did a post for
this blog called “Praying for Pets.” (Another related earlier post is "On The Loss Of A Pet.") In
that post, I reflected on the fact that a presenter at a church service observed
that “we pray more often for pets” at the children’s service than at the adult
service. In my post, I wondered why we
don’t pray more (or at all) for pets in adult services. I hope you will click through to read that
post again, but I’m copying here just a short a portion:
When our pets are sick, where else
should we turn for comfort and hope, but to God? When they are facing surgery or have been
hurt in an accident or are suffering from illness or anxiety, why would we not
ask God’s blessing upon them? Scripture
tells us that God created and loves the animals and that not one sparrow falls
without Him. (Matt. 10:29). God loves
our pets as much as we do; He knows their suffering and He cares about their
well-being.
I think another reason we don’t pray for pets
in church is that, as adults, we don’t like to acknowledge how much our pets
mean to us, for fear that other people will think we are silly or trivial. So when they are sick, we are hesitant to
admit how worried we are, or when they pass away, we are hesitant to admit how
grief-stricken we are. Indeed, the lack
of pastoral care when a pet is lost is a significant gap in the church,
although some faith communities are taking steps to recognize the reality of
this kind of loss and grief.
The
fact is that pets are important parts of our lives, whether we are children or
adults. The relationships we form with
them are real, as is the joy they bring us, the love we feel for them, and the
loss we know when they are gone. There
is nothing silly or trivial about this kind of love – it makes us more
human.
I am fortunate to have a
community and resources to help me process this illness and the inevitable loss
in a faithful, supported, way. I know people
will not look at me sideways when I grieve this loss. So few of us have that in our faith
communities. More churches are waking up
to this need, but it is still a small number.
We should feel as free to put our pets’ names on the church prayer list
as our parents’ names.
For the many, many Christians who
feel they have nowhere to turn in anxiety or grief for their pets, for those
who indeed would be looked down upon
as silly or trivial if they made such a prayer request, I hope at least you
have an online community and resources – either through this blog and its Facebook page or one of the many others that have been created to acknowledge and
support the place of our pets – and all
animals -- in our theology, in our compassion, and in our Christian mercy. (In
particular, Shepherding All God’s Creatures has a Facebook Group dedicated to
praying for companion and other animals.) Know at least that God hears you, and He loves
you, and He loves your pets - and you should feel free to pray with gusto for
their well being and for your own comfort in time of need.
I will continue to pray not only
for Puck and my other pets, but also for the Christian community, that we might
open our eyes to this pressing pastoral need, and to our obligations as
creatures in the image of God to care for all
God’s creatures with mercy and compassion.
1 comment:
Hey Lois, thank you for this wonderful post, you always out do yourself, just when I think what you write can't get any better, you write out do yourself again!
And thank you for the mention of Shepherding All God's Creatures Prayer Group - prayer is so important, a place for support for our small but growing family of animal welfarists is so needed.
Thanks again. Many blessings.
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